I'm a Socks and Sandals man.
The process of this discovery was around 10 years longer than it needed to be.
It started with a trip to Thailand.
As a teenager, this was my first solo trip, and it was unlike any other part of my life so far. I had a blast. I saw places that I previously couldn't have even imagined. I learned new skills and put them immediately to the test - such as riding a motorbike along busy, cliffside roads. I made mistakes, and learned how to rely on myself. I discovered what sort of challenges I was capable of facing. And throughout all of this, I wore socks with my sandals.
After returning from this life changing adventure, I managed to wrangle a few of my friends together and set out again, this time with company.
In a hurry to explore, I suggested a location that I had heard other backpackers talking about, collected some supplies, and stood impatiently by the door. There was so much to see in so little time, and I had assumed that my eagerness was also felt by the rest of the gang. But I was wrong.
One friend needed to iron his clothes first. The excitement of exploring a new country could wait - for what would Instagram think of his photos if he looked like he had just rolled out of a long flight?
Another friend didn't want to go to the place that I had heard of, because this particular place wasn't on his Facebook-advert sponsored 'top 5' list.
Yet another friend wasn't keen at all on being seen in public with me whilst I wore my current attire - The socks and sandals were an absolute road block for him, regardless of what boundless excitement awaited us on the other side of the hotel door.
I didn't realise it in that moment, but this was the beginning of the conditioning that would slowly sap me of life's enjoyment, over the next decade.
This isn't to say anything bad about my friends, at all. They were only doing what most people do for their friends - giving them little nudges of shared wisdom, in the hopes to stop them falling off of the 'normalcy trail' and landing in cuckoo-land without a map. They are no less victims in this than I, and I only hope that they too uncover the lie, before they reach the same destination that I had recently reached.
I have travelled many times since those initial asia trips - mostly solo. It's the best way to go. I had initially thought that it was due to having no need to comprimise, but this isn't enturely true. Sure, you fly to the destination alone initially, but soon after landing you are surrounded by other travellers, and you hang out with them, become immediate friends with them, and plan your journey's next steps with them. There's always comprimising with people, even if you travel solo. Upon reflection, I now think that the main benefit of solo travel isn't the lack of need to compromise, but the lack of being dogged and bogged down by fruitless social norms. The friends and family from your area carry with them an invisible set of rules on how to be, and when you travel with them, those rules follow you, and they are applied to you, often subconsciously, by their mere presence.
If you let them, these rules stop being someone else's, as they become internalised by yourself.
I haven't worn socks with my sandals since that trip with my friends, and truthfully, I can't see any way that my life is better for it.
All I know is that now, I've got an extra thing to consider when I'm trying to dress for the day. One little rule, to go on top of all of the other little rules, collected from friends over the course of my life, and internalised. Embodied. Become one with.Who knows by now how many useless rules I've collected, and let control my actions, or inaction. This very morning, I froze, and almost didn't leave the house, because of a convention that I would surely be breaking by doing so. The weather was dictating that I wear shorts. It's extremely hot here all year 'round, but today was particularly sweltering, and there was no negotiation on the shorts. But I was going for a hike. I have boots for that, comfortable, expensive boots, that feel great on my feet, even after hours of inclines and unstable surfaces. I love my hiking boots. But the socks were too dark, and looked a little goofy with the lighter coloured footwear. And boots and shorts, together? At some point, the internet, or a magazine, or a popular TV show had said 'NO', and that judgement now resounded in my head.
I looked at myself in the mirror, and I saw my teenage self, staring back. My sense of style (or complete lack thereof) has hardly changed. I looked exactly how I would have looked in Thailand, or in Europe on any of my other trips, and I've got the photos to prove it to myself. And those were the best times of my life. So what good were my peers' rules of society doing me, in this moment?
I used to be carefree, and life was good. Learning and growing was meant to enhance my life experience, but all it has done is taught me what not to do.
Did I really need to change?
Sure, maybe a little. Everyone grows up. But listening to all suggestions from all sides, as they change season by season, and as they come at you not just from people close to you, but from strangers, from movies, from people at work, from people you dislike... It's overwhelming. It's okay to ignore them completely, if they bring you no benefit, and leave you unable to make choices due to overwhelm and pressure.
And so, as of today, I'm reverting back to when I enjoyed life. I'm out and about with my shorts and boots, and if the weather and activity permits, maybe I'll even rock my socks and sandals, because life's too short to give a shit.
- Aluca Sol 